People live their lives as if it’s some kind of cycle you could go back and relive again. Maybe straighten the mistakes or making things which didn’t work out works. But I’m not one of them. I walk in the same unknown dark street every single day of my life and I have no intentions of making it better. You wanna know why? Because the more I try to make it better, the more I fail, the more I feel depressed, the more I wanted to die. But what’s bad about that? Everybody dies when their time comes.
I have no problems if people would classify me as an “emo”. Honestly, it’s because I really don’t have a concrete idea of what that’s about. But hey, everyone gets emotional when their deepest passion gets tapped. I hate the people dictating me that I’m ugly. That I’m fat and unattractive, and unknowingly, deep inside I became a monster they wanted me to be. The more I listen to what they say, makes me wanna eat their dust. No one is perfect. Then tell me why do people love to hate the fat and the ugly? You tell me because society thinks they lack self-esteem or how would people believe in them if they won’t even believe for themselves?
Boohoo. I’m sorry but that’s not us “ugly” girls feel. You praise those skinny, busty, fake girls when the people who needed you most are those left behind because they could fit a pants size 25. But heck, maybe those skinny, busty, fake girls were smart, afterall, they were smart enough to make an exact clones of the girls men wanted to have. Maybe they enjoy that attention. No harm done there.
I don’t have those kinda girls. What I hate the most are those guys without enough brain and sense to feel the ignored. Take my dad for example, words that come out of his mouth are nothing but harsh. Who would feel loved when he tells you, “Eat this, it will make you fatter.” Psycho.
But then again, I admit it’s my problem of not trusting myself. For not believing how great would I be if I only made the right choices. I’m currently battling myself on how would I live my life. If I would continue to walk in the unknown dark street I walked in for the past 18 years of my life or actually put some light on my head and begin to act. Well, it’s easier to do the first one.
Reality Check.
I do that everyday, but I still can’t figure things out.
